Last night I had this crazy enlightening dream about meeting Justin Bieber. He was surprisingly cool. He commented on my shirt saying, “Cool shirt. It looks like a tattoo. I have one just like it!” Then, he smiled that gentle Bieber smile. It was pretty awesome. We went to the show, got to hang out backstage, then we went to Mellow Mushroom. By this point, I was so excited for some alcohol, I couldn’t control myself. Then, I was like, “OH NO! Justin will smell the alcohol on me. I better not.” So, I ended up not getting a Dirty Bong Water, and I was sad for a minute. THEN! My dickish ex-stepdad came into Mellow Mushroom with my step-sister, and I had to get out of there. I flew up a flight of stairs and found Justin and his crew eating up there. He invited me over to eat with them, and NATURALLY, I went. He’s so cool, you guys. I’m sorry for every bad thing I ever said about him. I bet that if I had a camera stuck up my ass every day, I would do the same thing he does. Those paparazzi dicks can be some REAL bitches.
Disclaimer: I know that this was only a dream, but whatever.